|
Short Letters
Tall Ships Regatta
Making A Start
Martian Bombshells
Short Letters 1 (9 January 2015)
Here are some simple business type letters. The content may not be
wildly interesting but I hope that you will be able to* write these more
easily and so have the satisfaction of achieving a higher speed on them.
Any* one passage can be used in several ways to get the most benefit.
You could* first take it unseen which would mean getting a friend or a
text-to-speech programme to read it to you. This is the most lifelike
version of practising, not knowing what is coming next and surviving the
assault of unknown words having to be written without hesitation. What
you are practising is your reaction to the situation rather than
learning new outlines.
* Omission phrase "I (h)ope that you will be able
to"
* "any" The dot vowel is not part of the short
form, but can be added to help reading back
* "you could" is not phrased, so that it does not look like "you can"
After that, you can use the passages to improve your shorthand reading
speed, going faster each time and recording your own voice on the last
attempt. Next you can write the passages as many times as it takes to
get it down smoothly, completely and legibly*, starting with copying*
and going on to dictation. Anything that you hesitate over should be
drilled thoroughly. You can lengthen the recording by inserting silences
at intervals, or using the free Audacity programme to reduce the tempo
for you.
* "legibly" Insert the final vowel, as "legible" would also make sense
* "copying" No diphone, as the second I sound is included in Dot Ing.
Note, copying from the printed shorthand, not
copying the longhand text into shorthand.
Finally, once you are sure you know all the outlines well, you can reuse
the passages by mixing up the sentences, so that the words come in a
different order, or substituting* other words to provide some variation.
It is also very useful to do all this quite quickly and then come back
and repeat it all after a gap of several hours or the next day, as that
is the real test of whether you have learned the outlines sufficiently,
or whether they are merely "hanging out" in your short term memory. As
you can see from the blog title, this type of offering will be repeated,
to give beginners more practice in easier matter, as the blogs are
mostly aimed more at vocabulary extension and are not written
specifically to be simple. The paragraphs below are all 150 words long,
so it will be easy to calculate your speed: 60 seconds will be 150
words a minute, 90 seconds will be 100 words a minute, and 180 seconds
will be 50 words a minute.
* "subs(t)ituting" Omits the first T
* Omission phrase "words (a)
minute"
Dear Sir, Thank you for your prompt reply to my email* which I sent to
you last week*. I am glad that you have now been able* to read the
report and make some valuable comments on the contents. We shall be
meeting next week* to discuss all these matters. The meeting will take
place* in the new conference rooms at our head office in New York* and I
enclose an agenda and a copy of reports for the previous two years. The
Chairman and Secretary of the company* will be present, as well as our
financial advisers, and we look forward* to the challenge of drawing up
the plans for our activities over the next few years. I look forward* to
seeing you at the meeting but if you have any questions* in the
meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me directly. Yours
faithfully, John Brown, Senior Director (150 words)
* "email" and "mail" Always insert the vowel to ensure they are not
misread for each other
* Omission phrases "last (w)eek" "ne(k)s(t) week" "N(ew)
Y(ork)" "look fo(r)ward"
* "been able" omits the N as the grammar lets you know it is "been" and
not "be"
* "will take place" Compare the phrase "taken p(l)ace" which omits the L
hook
* For "Company Secretary" you would place the K stroke over the "sec-"
part
* "questions" Optional contraction
Dear Madam, Your recent letter* addressed to the Customer Services
Department has been passed to me for attention. I am very glad to hear
that you are happy with the order which you received a few days ago.
Thank you for taking the time to send us your comments on the item, and
for the suggestion on the improvements which would make the item more
useful. I have forwarded these to our Design Department, who are always
looking at ways to improve our products, so that we can maintain a high
level of service to our customers. I would like to add that we do have
plans to expand* this particular line to
include more sizes and colours, and these will be available online in
about two months' time. I have enclosed our latest online discount
voucher code which you may find helpful. Yours sincerely*, Mary Green, Development* Team Manager
(150 words)
* "recent letter" Downward L to make a good join
* "expand" Keep the P sloping, so it does not look like "extend" which
has a similar meaning
* Omission phrase "yours (sin)cerely"
* "Development" Optional contraction
Dear Sirs, It has come to my attention that our invoice dated 31
December is still outstanding. We would be grateful if you could* attend
to this at your earliest convenience*. If there is* any query regarding
this or some other* problem, please advise us as soon as possible* so that
this matter can be sorted out quickly. We have noticed that one of our
previous letters was returned to us by the postal services and wondered
whether we have some error in your address on our database. If you can
confirm your correct name and address* details in your return email*, we
will update our records immediately, so that no further errors are made
and delays are avoided*. We thank you for your valued custom over the
past five years, and look forward*
to continuing to provide our services
to you in future. Yours faithfully, Roger* Black, Finance Manager (150
words)
* "you could" See note paragraph 1
* Omission phrases "as soon as poss(ible)" "name (and) address"
"look fo(r)ward"
* "convenience" The intersection "Vn" can be either written through or
tucked under
* "if there is" "some other"
Doubling to represent "there"
* "email" See note paragraph 4
* "avoided" "evaded" Always insert
the second vowel, as these are similar in outline and meaning
* "Roger" Note that "Richard" is
written with Chay and Ard strokes, to help differentiate
Dear Miss Smith*, I have pleasure in enclosing our latest catalogue of
our summer clothes collection, as requested, which I hope you will find*
of interest. We have introduced many new lines, including for the first
time* a very attractive range of summer footwear*. We are giving an
introductory discount to all existing customers, just send in the
discount voucher with your order, or quote the discount code online, to
get a twenty percent reduction on your first order from this catalogue.
This in no way* affects our returns policy, and if you are not delighted
with your purchase, it can easily be returned for a full refund. We also
have an online offer of a further discount to the first 50 customers who
order this month*. I hope you will* enjoy browsing the literature and
find some great items to add to your summer wardrobe. Yours sincerely*,
Sarah Williams (150 words)
* "Dear Miss Smith" could be phrased, using a Ses circle for the two S
sounds
* Omission phrases "I (h)ope you will find" "for (the) first time" "I
(h)ope you will"
"Yours (sin)cerely"
* Insert the vowel, so it is not misread as "knitwear" or "underwear"
* "in no way" Always insert the
vowel in "no" in phrases, to distinguish it from "in any way"
* "this month" Intersection Ith for "month" is sometimes better joined,
also "ne(k)s(t mon)th"
Dear Friends, I am delighted to confirm the results of the shorthand
speed exams. All the class members reported back to me that this set of
exams was a really tough one, and the political passage, given at a
hundred*
words a minute*, had quite a lot of tricky* words in it. I am
glad that those taking it managed to overcome this and get down
something for everything. Only one person has failed, but this is no
reflection on their ability*, as we all knew that they were aiming for a
really high speed. I am sure this can easily be retaken quite soon, and
maybe at ten* words a minute* slower to ensure a pass. Well done
everyone, and I look forward* to seeing you all at the next session.
Meanwhile, we welcome comments and exam hints on our Facebook page to
help future students. Regards, Joan Anderson (150 words) (Total 1127 words)
* "a hundred" Full outlines.
If the speaker said "one hundred" that would be written as numeral 1 and
N stroke underneath"
* Omission phrases "words (a)
minute" "I look fo(r)ward"
* "tricky" Insert the final vowel, as "trick" would also make sense here
* "on their ability" Disjoined stroke B for the suffix "-ability" is
here used for the whole word
* "ten" Always insert the vowels when using the outline for eight, ten,
eighteen
Top of page
Tall Ships Regatta (16 January
2015)
Last September we visited the Royal Greenwich Tall
Ships Regatta and Festival. I always enjoy going back to Greenwich,
where I used to live, as there is much to see, both in Greenwich Park
and by the riverside. Greenwich is always full of tourists and the town
centre, being small, gets very crowded but this time the whole river
front area was thick with people, families and children, enjoying all
the historical displays and stalls. The event had begun with a 4-day
regatta in Falmouth, Cornwall, followed by a 3-day race to Greenwich,
and then a further 5 days of events held at both Greenwich and Woolwich,
which is a few miles further down the river. Our first thought was to
get to the riverside to see the ships sailing up and down but we found
that the people at the railings formed an impenetrable wall of backs. We
decided to look round the stalls first and later on find a riverside gap
away from the main events area.
Most of the stalls were manned by history enthusiasts
in full period costume. The most popular seemed to be the sailors, from
the simply dressed humble seamen up to the officers in their bright red
uniforms, with gold buttons and gleaming swords. They spent most of
their time posing with people for photographs, and answering questions*
about their lives and jobs. In such a grand historical setting, it
seemed to me that it was the ordinary present-day people who looked out
of place, and I really felt as if all the characters from the paintings
in the nearby museums had just walked out for some fresh air and to meet
their descendants. As I looked at them, it was difficult to imagine them
in suits or jeans, wearing trainers, at work in front of their
computers, driving a bus or flying a plane, or serving in the local
supermarket. Fortunately not one of them was tempted to use their
smartphone whilst on view to the public.
* "questions" Optional contraction
I enjoyed visiting the stalls that showed
the occupations and daily lives of people in the eighteenth and
nineteenth centuries, sewing and making clothes, wool dyeing, food
preparation and storage, book-binding, navigation, medicines,
wheelwright, wood turning, care and repair of swords and guns, and
making lead shot, ropes and fishing nets. One of the tents was made up
as an officer's quarters, with the table outside displaying maps,
charts, compass, sextant and other navigational equipment. The most
noticeable aspect of all these was how everything was hand-made by the
artisan, something that was to disappear rapidly as the Industrial
Revolution got underway in the mid eighteen hundreds.
The tables showing the sailors' food had salted meat,
coarse bread, dried beans, dried fruit, and ship's biscuits called hard
tack. An original ship's biscuit can be seen in the museum, full of
weevil holes. Some large earthenware jugs contained grog, which was a
mixture of weak beer or rum, lemon or lime juice, and sometimes with
additional sugar or cinnamon. The flavours were added to the grog to
disguise the taste of the water, which would quickly turn green in
storage, and also the water diluted the alcoholic element. In contrast, the spread on the table of officers' food was
very much more* attractive. The tablecloth was covered in fine china
plates laden with delicious looking food, including fresh fruit and
vegetables.
* Omission phrase "very much mo(re)"
One very interesting activity was a large
rectangular blue paddling pool, not for paddling but for model sail
boats. The boats were simple sturdy chunks of wood plus sail, and two
very large fans provided the wind to blow along the length of the pool.
The boats plied back and forth*, surrounded by excited shrieking
children, who turned each boat around as it came up to them, and sent it
back across the miniature ocean again. I think many of them were having
competitions with their friends as to whose one would arrive at the
other side first, and were probably also making plans to construct their
own boats as soon as possible* when they got home. It was great fun to
watch and very educational*, showing how sailing ships can travel in a
direction different from the one in which the wind is blowing.
* Omission phrase "back (and) forth" "as
soon as poss(ible)"
* "educational" The U diphthong sign is normally written outside a
shun hook, but here there is nowhere else to put it
In the grounds of the Royal Naval College
were rows of tents, displaying the literature and wares of many
societies and organisations that one could support or join, such as sea
cadets and marine conservation. One tent had seascape paintings and
giant wood carvings in the manner of figureheads, which one could place
an order for. Further along were some wooden masts with sails and rope
ladders, where children could try their strength, skill and bravery in
climbing, with safety harness, to the top of the rigging. At the far end
were two traditional fairground rides, a helter skelter and the
swinging gondolas. Along the other side were a multitude of food and
refreshment stalls with seating* areas, smelling very delicious and
causing some hunger where there was none before! Fortunately, we had our
sandwiches in our bags, and the only problem was finding somewhere to
sit. Eventually we ended up by the riverside and entertained ourselves
with throwing some spare old bread to the seagulls, with one person
throwing and the other taking video and photos of the birds swooping and
screeching.
* "seating" Essential to put in the dot vowel, very clearly thick, as
"sitting" has the same meaning
We returned the next day in order to* see the Queen's royal row barge
Gloriana come past at midday. We knew that there would be few gaps at
the railings and we wanted to get good photos, so we travelled the short
distance on the Docklands Light Railway to the other side of the river,
where there is a small park and plenty of space to view the river scene.
The barge came past right on time, although a good zoom on the camera
was necessary as it stayed nearer to the far bank. It went on round the
bend of the river and out of sight, on its way to Woolwich, and after a
short while I was delighted to see it returning upriver again, with the
skilled oarsmen working hard to keep the vessel moving at a good speed.
The sun was out, and the sparkling river and golden barge made a glorious
spectacle. In the National Maritime Museum is Prince Frederick's state
barge of 1732, gilded in 24-carat gold leaf, and seeing the Gloriana
made me wonder how that one must have looked when it was in use.
* Omission phrase "in ord(er to)"
Queen's row barge Gloriana
We returned via the foot tunnel which goes directly
from the park to the Cutty Sark area on the other side*. The Cutty Sark
was teeming with visitors as usual but was rather outshone by the other
sailing vessels going slowly up and down the Thames. Their slow progress
seemed unhurried and stately, as we are used to seeing the river traffic
moving much faster, with the Thames clippers constantly zipping past at
high speed. The ships were giving tours of their decks when moored, and
rides along the river. I enjoyed seeing the various figureheads, from
pale seahorse to a fiery flying serpent in brilliant colours. My
favourite was the beautiful mermaid, guiding the ship across the seas
and ensuring its safe arrival in port after its hazardous journey across
her domain.
* Omission phrase "on the oth(er) side"
The next Tall Ships Races will start in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in
July 2015 at the Titanic Maritime Festival, and the ships will go on
from there to events in Norway at the end of July and Denmark in early
August. Greenwich will have to wait until April 2017 when it will be the
starting point for the Transatlantic* Tall Ship Regatta which will go
via Portugal, Bermuda and Boston to Quebec in Canada, and finally
returning to Europe in September. (1298 words)
* "Transatlantic" This can also be contracted to "tra(n)slantic"
Top of page
Making A Start (25 January 2015)
Here we are, three quarters* of the way through January and somehow I
have avoided* being sucked into the mire of New Year's Resolutions. My
view is that when someone really is enthusiastic about doing something
new, it is likely they would start as soon as possible*, preferably
immediately, and not wait for the excuse of just filling the empty
months at the beginning of the year. When I clear away after Christmas,
I often find myself continuing on with sorting out the cupboards and,
with the first sunny day, it escalates into a spring clean of the
corners most in need of attention. If you are one of those making a
start on shorthand or making that extra push towards speed goals, then I
suggest you get stuck in straight away*, and not wait until you have an
expensive pen, deluxe notepaper and a pile of books with all the
supposed miraculous shortcuts. You can use a pencil on cheap notepaper
and learn the strokes from the main website** without any delay and put
your decision into action so that it does not evaporate before the
ordered books arrive.
* "quarters" Optional contraction
* "avoided" "evaded" Always insert
the second vowel, as these are similar in outline and meaning
* Omission phrase "as soon as
poss(ible)"
* "straight away" The archaic version "straightway" would be best
signified by a wavy line underneath, or writing in two parts so that the
"way" can go on the line
** Go to
https://long-live-pitmans-shorthand-lessons.org.uk
Yippee, Ebay books have arrived!
Making a start is the biggest hurdle, but once you have begun your
shorthand journey, there will be no stopping you and you will not* care
whether it is new year or old year. I have found that it is not
resolutions that are needed but plain resolve which my onscreen
thesaurus describes as ambition, aspiration, commitment, concentration,
decisiveness, dedication*, determination, diligence, dynamism, energy
and enthusiasm. Here are some more: firmness, fortitude, intensity,
interest, keenness, motivation, perseverance, persistence, resilience,
self-discipline*, steadfastness, tenacity and willpower.
* "you will not" Note that "you are not" uses full strokes, if halved it
would look too similar
* "dedication" Keep the D clearly halved, so it does not look like
"education"
* "self-discipline" On the line, as the first vowel is the E in self,
not the I in discipline. Of all the prefixes, only the Con Dot is
ignored for outline placement, because con words are so
numerous.
Step over the line, no going back (Meridian
Line, Stratford Station, North London)
All these are different flavours of the same thing, but I prefer the
more punchy single syllable versions: drive, zeal, guts, nerve, pluck,
bottle, grit and, my favourite, oomph. Excuse me while I get a drink and
a snack, and settle down in the comfortable armchair with the shorthand
dictionary, before I think about beginning to get ready to make the
initial preparations for a small preliminary start on one of them, if I
feel up to it. I feel I need some inspirational quotes from the past to
help me get moving.
Everything looks like outlines (Blackfriars Bridge, London)
The best time to do something worthwhile* is between yesterday and
tomorrow. Unknown
A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.
Harvey Mackay
In the field of observation, chance favours only the prepared mind.
Louis Pasteur*
The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.
Anon
That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself
has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated. You can't
cross a chasm in two small steps. David Lloyd George
* "wor(th)while" Omits the Ith
* "Pasteur" The French vowel is signified by writing the dash parallel
to the stroke
Looking for one that says "Hundred Wpm Town"
(calling at All Speeds
In Between)
Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely
determine where you start. Nido Qubein
The secret of a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject
depends upon our interest in it. We rarely forget that which has made a
deep impression on our minds. Tryon Edwards
Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can
be managed. Peter Drucker
Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.
Daniel J Boorstin
No great man* ever complains of want of opportunity. Ralph Waldo
Emerson
One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it
suddenly becomes clear what one means to do. A. C. Benson
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there
will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending,
ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the
journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and
glory of the climb. Sir Winston Churchill
Regret for wasted time is more wasted time. Mason Cooley
Speech is the mirror of the mind. Seneca (for speech read: your
written outlines)
* "man" Helpful to insert the vowel, as "mind" would also make sense in
this context
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form
habits*; habits* decide character; and character fixes* our destiny*.
Tryon Edwards
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Anon (the hammer
is your shorthand and the nails are outlines)
The world belongs to the energetic. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Enthusiasm moves the world. Arthur Balfour
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some
blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you
can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high
a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Ralph Waldo Emerson
(789 words)
* "habits" Always insert the first vowel, as this
is similar to "hobbies"
* "fixes, focuses" Always insert
the first vowel, as they are similar in outline and meaning
*
"destiny" Ensure the N is not curled at the end, so that it does not
look like "destination" which has a similar meaning
Top of page
Martian Bombshells (27 January
2015)
It is easy after a long day of working in front of the
computer screen to find one's eyes beginning to close all by themselves.
You only know about it when they suddenly spring open again some moments
later. I was recently searching to find the plans for the rebuilding of
my local shopping centre, when my tired eyes were arrested by the
unexpected arrival on the screen of a page of cryptic writing. The
unfamiliar squiggles seemed to rearrange themselves in my brain and I
quickly typed a transcription before it disappeared. So, with a few
grammatical corrections, here it is, an amazing* archived report from our
friendly neighbourhood Martian newspaper. Fortunately for us, they have
unwittingly provided some good shorthand practice in the art of dealing
with dictation "bombshells", that is, those difficult words buried
amongst the simple ones, for which no outline of any sort comes to mind,
resulting in shorthand paralysis and confidence-denting gaps, or worse.
Practising all the awkward outlines before taking it from dictation
should prevent you from falling by the shorthand wayside.
* "amazing" "amusing" Always insert
the vowel, to differentiate
Time to take a break
Earthlings Time Machine. Readers of The Martian Chronicle will be
interested to know that our National Organisation for Space Survey
Advancement (NOSSA) has been sending us reports of an Earth Time Machine
that is being tested in an undisclosed terrestrial location that
Earthlings call Kent England. Our roving cloud-covered Earth cams picked
up the extraordinary* visual, acoustic and vibrational activity a few
weeks ago* and our scientists immediately relocated some of the
geostationary observation vessels to the area to make additional
recordings of the disturbances.
* "extraordinary" Optional contraction
* Omission phrase "few wee(k)s ago"
The Earthlings seem to have reversed time in a small rectangular area in
an unassuming shopping centre, apparently taking it back to a
prehistoric era, possibly Jurassic or even Cretaceous, resulting in the
demolition of certain of the central buildings. A huge rock strewn sink
hole has appeared and fierce steel dinosaurs have emerged from its murky
depths, eating up the buildings and chopping the fragments into a pile
of amorphous rubble. The noise of these monsters has been picked up by
several of our satellite audio and vibration sensors, enabling us to
pinpoint the cataclysmic event and so focus the Earth cams with greater
accuracy.
Feeding frenzy
We are not sure whether the dinosaurs have been enticed into consuming
the buildings, or whether the Earthlings have accidentally created an
earthquake which demolished them, with the giant theropods emerging from
the past via a Time Hole and merely taking advantage of their new
surroundings. One theory is that the creatures are pulling the buildings
apart looking for prehistoric insects, worms or maybe bees nests where
they can find energy-rich honey in large quantities. A powerful
waterspout, released by the Time Machine, is dousing the rubble at
regular intervals, and although the dinosaurs do not appear to drink
very often, at least* the water spray is keeping the demolition dust
levels down, which enables our long-range camera lenses to record the
action quite clearly.
* "at least" "at last" Always
insert the vowel, to distinguish these
Megadontosaurus Lithoraptor
This scene of controlled destruction is contained within a
perimeter fence of white-painted hardboard, with plastic notice sheets
pinned at several places stating that workers inside the experimental
area must wear hard hats for their own protection. Little perspex
windows have been made in the boards, so that the shoppers can observe
the behaviour of the dinosaurs and report any creature nibbling the
retaining fences, or run for cover in the event of an attempted
breakout. The indigenous Earthlings are all walking up and down past the
fences very calmly and continuing with their food gathering, which has
led our sociological scientists to theorise that the resourceful
Earthlings are either very resilient and adaptable, or extremely
obedient to their leaders, or possibly it is just that getting the
bread, milk and eggs from their local supermarket is much more*
important to them at this cold time of year, when their priority is
stocking the larder before the icy winds start to blow again.
* Omission phrase "much mo(re)"
Once the dinosaurs have exhausted* their food supply in this small area,
we suspect* that they will be immediately despatched back to the past,
and we would not be in the least surprised if the residents started to
rebuild their environment. They already have pictures displayed in
prominent* locations of how they would like it to look in the future,
including new shops and a cinema, and this has led to some of our more
imaginative reporters guessing that it is all a gigantic stunt by a film
company to advertise their new entertainment facilities, with their
first feature movie obviously being of the "Dinosaurs invade the world"
variety. We are at a loss as to why the inhabitants want to watch scary
films, when their entire planet is a beautiful green and well-watered
paradise, unlike our dry rocky world where all the greenery has to be
grown in tiny quantities under crystal domes and our scarce water
reserves* have to be augmented by supplies extracted from passing
comets.
* "exhausted" The short E vowel dot is the only sign not written inside
the Ses Circle
* "suspect" The contraction is only used for the verb
* "prominent" See
https://www.long-live-pitmans-shorthand.org.uk/distinguishing-outlines-2-rule.htm
"prominent permanent pre-eminent"
* "reserves" Keep the final hook and circle small, so that it does not
look like "resources" which has a similar meaning
Our Crystal Dome souvenir
with model of feathered dinosaur
One of our reporters offered the outlandish theory that the Earthlings’
local council has found that using dinosaurs from the past is a
brilliant way of saving money on demolition contractors’ charges, and as
a result* they are now able to afford to replace it all with a smart new
pedestrian area containing seats and trees, where the hunter-gatherer
shoppers can rest before they resume their search for essential supplies
and bargains. We have not yet located the Time Machine, but we do
suspect that they are actually storing it somewhere in the past, along
with its operatives, and that it is scheduled for return when the
demolition is complete, and they will then send the dinosaurs back to
their normal Mesozoic jungle habitats.
* Omission phrase "as (a) result"
Over-grazing
Our Earth cams are recording all that takes place in meticulous detail,
in order to* produce a complete historical record of this highly
interesting venture. The pictures of progress are being streamed live to
our technical colleges*, so that our students can produce their own
reports and summaries, which will help them with their final theses at
the end of their courses. We are very grateful to the industrious
Earthlings for providing such a wonderful educational spectacle for our
inquisitive youngsters and, once it is all finished, we will be showing
our appreciation by visiting the area in disguise and spending some
Earth money tokens, to help their economy and keep the shops in
business.
* Omission phrases "in ord(er to)" "tech(nical) colleges"
Astronomy student
about to start homework
If you are wondering how we will get Earth money tokens legally, that
will be solved by bringing with us some of our industrial waste gold
nuggets* for sale in the local market. We will form them into keyrings,
phone cases and bottle openers, so that they are more attractive to the
buyers. We will then spend the metallic and paper money tokens on that
most precious commodity, bottled water, which amazingly* is available in
large quantities at very low cost in the supermarkets. This will delight
everyone back home on our dry dusty planet. One thousand bottles will be
presented to the Monarch, one hundred to the Heads of Area Government,
and fifty as prizes to our best pupils on the Astronomy, Science and
Interplanetary Relations course at the Higher Martian Technical
College*. Watch this space for further updates and a chance to win one
of the bottles of water in our upcoming competition. Follow the link
below to see a picture of what we believe is a diagram of the control
panel of the Time Machine. (1245 words)
* "nuggets" Note that "ingots" uses full stroke T instead of halving, to
differentiate it
* "amaze" and "amuse" Always insert the vowel
* Omission phrase "Tech(nical) College"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geologic_time_scale#mediaviewer/
File:Geologic_Clock_with_events_and_periods.svg
Mars before: with water / Mars after: without
Note our recent discovery that
the fabric of space is actually knitted
Top of page
|
